As a Fresher who has 100% embraced the motto of ‘Silly Fresh’, I believe that I am highly qualified to provide you with a rundown of Durham’s best nights out. After much trial and error, I have mastered the perfect pre-club routine. Some warmup drinks at Trevs, followed by the dreaded stomp down to the Bailey, a Disco Water at Chads to drown away the envy of their lovely bar followed by the crucial Spoons top up, to reach the perfect level before the club.

5. Loft

Sadly, my first encounter with Loft during Freshers week ended with me staring in dismay at the empty dance floor after having made the treacherous drunk trek down the never-ending stairs. However, I do have to accept some responsibility for this as I had stepped foot inside before midnight. Rooky mistake! Although I have yet to grace Loft Monday with my presence, I have heard rave reviews about its classic 2000s tunes and good vibes. It tends to be only frequented by those hardcore revellers whilst the rest of a need a few days recovery time resulting from the weekend’s hangover.

4. Babylon 

The £1.50 entry and £1.00 shots on Friday and Wednesday Cheapskates call out to us broke students. Could it get any better? Nonetheless, the enticing cheapness is not without cost. Be prepared to be relentlessly crushed on the dancefloor, until you can seek refuge in a corner. The DJ’s repetitive playlist and inability to finish a banger can at times be aggravating. Sadly, my biggest achievement of Michaelmas term was making it to every Friday Cheapskates. However, the novelty of Babs can ware off very quickly.

3. Klute

Klute is notorious for being the worst night out in Durham. A shed, a sweet quaddie and 2000s throwbacks – a simple but fantastic combination. Arm in arm with strangers and friends, swaying to ‘That’s Amore’ is a uniting and enjoyable experience. In its muggy, (but sometimes empty) dancefloor, thrives nostalgia and carefree vibes. For those desperate enough to go out on a Sunday night, Klute is the place to be. Whilst it takes a rare stamina to persevere until closing, it is a trustworthy and cheap stop off on a night out. Maybe it isn’t the worst night club in Europe after all!

Some warmup drinks at Trevs, followed by the dreaded stomp to the Bailey, a Disco Water at Chad’s, then the crucial Spoons top-up

2. Jimmy’s

As the last stop on Wednesday night sports socials, drunk students embrace the rebellious spirits of Victorian prisoners, making for a feral dance floor. There is a certain comfort in the familiarity of DJ Dave’s playlist and the possibility of seeing half of Trevs in the smoking area. However, enter the dance floor at your own risk! I have ended up on Jimmy’s floor looking up helplessly at the dancing rabble far too many times. If you survive until 2am, singing Robbie William’s ‘Angels’ at the top of your lungs is surprisingly therapeutic. Whilst the awful state of the toilets and the long queue can be off putting, Jimmy Allens is a classic Durham institution and always makes for a reliably fun night out.

1.     Fabios

Belting Pink Pony Club with a woohoo in my hand is honestly one of life’s peaks. Thursdays Unhinged have mastered the perfect balance of Charli XCX and Chappell Roan to create an inclusive, funky, and carefree atmosphere. Poles, comfy sofas, 3 for £5 jäger bombs – Fabs has it all. The rapid speed at which the tickets sell out suggests that a lot of students would agree with my ranking. Despite the long queue and endless sets of stairs, Fabs is the best place to dance all your problems away.

Some honourable mentions:

Osbournes: Although lacking in space, Ozzy’s nostalgic music and cheap drinks certainly make up for it. Its prime location, between Klute and Jimmys, makes it a perfect warmup for a free entry club crawl.

Disco Spoons: Whilst I still have not accepted the need to pay money to enter the Spoons establishment, Saturday night Disco Spoons is a perfect opportunity to boogie alongside the locals.

Take this as a pinch of salt – each to their own! Remember though, at the end of the day, practice makes perfect!